Jul 9, 2010

TDJ028 - Keldor Masters of the Universe Classics figure

Instantly when you look at Keldor you think he's going to be a gigantic asshole. Nothing could be further from the truth. Keldor is the kind of fella that would walk home five miles from the nearest train station because he didn't want to bother you for a ride in case you were busy. But he'd be the first one there to pick you up, even if you hadn't told him that you were going to need a ride. Somehow, he'd just know.

He was actually only growing that mustache for Cinco de Mustache.

Liz and I first met Keldor as part of the volunteer staff at a blood drive in Chicago and later found out at a party that summer that we had mutual friends. Mutual friends that we'd soon bypass as we became very close friends with Keldor. There's not much to dislike about Keldor, though his music choices can be a bit embarrassing from time to time, he doesn't hide them or make excuses for why he likes them - he just likes to have a good time and sing, and if something sounds good to him, screw what everyone else thinks. That's sort of refreshing in a world of people that "liked Belle and Sebastian before they blew up". Though we tend to draw the line at Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, he's still really good to appoint as the resident GrooveShark DJ whenever we're hanging out.

One of the things we like to give him shit about is his appearance, which again, he's not worried about impressing anyone with. Though most non-nerds won't know what I'm talking about, we often tease him for looking like the offspring of Drizzt Do'Urden and Artemis Entreri which is both hilarious and completely impossible (not because both of them are male, because they're bitter enemies!). But then usually Keldor is able to turn right around and make fun of how big of nerds we are for knowing or making that reference and we move on to shotgunning beers. If you've never shotgunned a beer with someone who has two halves of a sword that they can clip together and make one sword, well then, friend, you have not truly partied.

Two swords are better than one. Unless they are also just one sword.

Before moving to Chicago, Keldor resided in the Royal Palace (just outside of Cincinnati) but left when he realized how much racism and hatred filled people there. He eventually hooked up with Hordak, a misunderstood clothes designer that came to Chicago hoping to make it big. They had a very strong friendship that most people didn't understand, but when you're as nice as Keldor, you're going to make a lot of friends. Not all of them will understand one another, obviously. Keldor still visits Hordak from time to time, but within the last few years Hordak has moved to San Diego in hopes of breaking into the industry on the West Coast.

Keldor right now sports an outfit crafted by Hordak; an awesome cape, a crossbones chest piece and some amazing boots. Though Hordak mentioned that he'd look better with a skull cap, Keldor insists on letting his long flowing hair uncovered because; "you never know when you're gonna loose it, man - and when I do, THAT'S when I'll wear hats". Here's to that, Keldor. Here's to that.

Hordak was especially proud of the skirt he made entirely out of old neckties.

Well if any of you guys are hanging out in Chicago and happen by a party that Keldor's at, trust me, you're going to be there the latest along with Keldor, singing stupid 80s songs and doing shots of whatever alcohol is laying around. Just don't try to steal him out from under our noses - we know how that shit works. So does Demo-Man :) since he's the sucker we stole Keldor from in the first place.

"Two heads, huh? Yeah I've got a sword that splits into two..."

Here's the part of the review that I can't fit into a story about how Keldor is my friend.

Keldor comes with a vile of poison that in the new cartoon from 2002 He-Man and the Masters of the Universe he attempted to throw at Randor, but Randor blocked the vile and deflected it back at Keldor, burning his flesh from his face ultimately making Keldor into Skeletor. Also, I'm not a big fan of how his long hair keeps his head/neck from having the full range of articulation that it should have. Last gripe: his swords do not click together completely. If I have one end fastened, the other end will come apart.

Look for Keldor here and here.

Liz: This really happened. Imagine if you will:

Liz is on the phone, probably talking to her business contacts and drinking a martini. Sam is fiddling with something. It is noisy. It's hard for Liz to hear her business contact.

Liz: "What are you playing with?!"

Sam (At the top of his lungs, in a "HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT" voice): "Im putting KELDOR back in his PACKAGING!"

(There was a pause, as Liz was taken aback.)

Sam: *sigh*
(mumbling) You can quote me for your blog entry.


Plastic/Material – 5/5
Poseability – 3/5
Packaging – 5/5
Design – 4/5
Playability – 3/5
Price (value) – 3/5
Overall – 4/5

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